Mommy Burnout Is Real

There are days I feel like I’m running on fumes before my coffee is even cold. By the time bedtime rolls around, I’m not just exhausted—I’m completely burned out. I’ve answered hundreds of questions, refereed endless arguments, kept tiny humans alive, managed schedules, and somehow remembered to buy more diapers.

And sometimes, when my partner offers a hug or asks how they can help, I pull away—not because I don’t love them, but because my body and mind are screaming, “I just can’t handle anything else right now.”

This is mommy burnout.
It’s more than tired—it’s a deep, overwhelming fatigue that touches every part of your life: your emotions, your relationships, your patience, and even your ability to care for yourself.

One of the most confusing—and guilt-inducing—aspects of burnout is how it makes you feel disconnected, irritable, and emotionally shut down, even from the people you love most.

Why doesn’t anyone see mommy burnout?

Because burnout isn’t a badge we can wear on our sleeves—it’s invisible, internal, and often hidden behind a smile or a perfectly managed household.

Society has set up moms, whether working outside the home or staying in, to always be “on.” The expectation is clear:

Be present and patient
Be organized and efficient
Be selfless and unshakeable
And somehow, always happy about it

For working moms, there’s pressure to “do it all” — excel at work, be the perfect parent, and manage the home seamlessly, all while looking like you’ve got it together.

For stay-at-home moms, the pressure can be just as intense, but quieter:
the invisible labor of managing the entire household and emotional world of the family, without the external validation or breaks a job might provide.

In both cases, admitting burnout feels like admitting failure.
And guilt makes it easier to hide the cracks than to ask for help.

What this means:
Mommy burnout isn’t just a personal struggle. It’s a societal one—rooted in unrealistic expectations and the myth of the “supermom.” It thrives in silence and shame, robbing moms of the support and understanding they desperately need.

Breaking that silence is the first step toward healing.

What Is Mommy Burnout, Really?

Burnout isn’t just for corporate jobs. Parenting, especially mothering, can bring its own intense version. It’s physical, emotional, and mental depletion that builds over time from chronic, unrelenting demands—many of which we carry silently.

How Mommy Burnout Shows Up (Even If You Don’t Realize You’re Burned Out)

Mommy burnout usually refers to feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted specifically from the demands of parenting. But because being a mom is such a big part of your life, that burnout can definitely spill over into other areas—like work, relationships, or self-care. So, if you’re experiencing mommy burnout, it’s common to feel burnt out more generally too, even if the root cause is parenting stress. The overwhelm, fatigue, and emotional drain don’t always stay confined to just mom life—they tend to impact your overall energy and mood.

Mommy burnout doesn’t usually hit all at once. It sneaks in gradually—layer by layer, load by load—until you suddenly find yourself crying in the pantry, rage-cleaning the kitchen, or fantasizing about checking into a hotel alone with no responsibilities.

It’s not laziness. It’s not weakness. It’s not a failure of love.

It’s burnout.

And it shows up in all kinds of sneaky, everyday ways:

You’re snappy and irritable… over everything.

The spilled milk. The whining. The mess. The repetitive questions. You’re not just annoyed—you feel like you might explode. You hate how reactive you are, but you also can’t seem to stop.

You feel numb or disconnected.

You’re going through the motions—lunches, laundry, bedtime—but you don’t feel present. You might even feel guilty for not enjoying your kids more, but the joy feels just out of reach.

You can’t concentrate or remember simple things.

Mental fog, forgotten appointments, or walking into a room and forgetting why you’re there—it’s not just “mom brain.” It’s what happens when your brain is overstimulated and under-rested.

You feel resentful… and then guilty for feeling resentful.

You love your kids and your partner. But you also might resent how much everyone needs from you. And then you beat yourself up for even thinking that way.

You dread being touched—even by the people you love.

By the end of the day, your body feels like it’s not yours anymore. You’re touched out. You love your partner, but if they even breathe near your shoulder, you’re tense. This is your nervous system asking for space to recover.

You’re tired… but can’t rest.

You crash into bed but lie there scrolling or overthinking. Or you finally get a break and feel too anxious to enjoy it. Your body is tired, but your mind is stuck in survival mode.

You cry over “nothing.”

A commercial. A misplaced sock. A dropped dinner plate. When you’re burned out, your emotional capacity is paper-thin. The smallest crack can feel like a collapse.

You fantasize about escaping.

It’s not that you want to leave your family—it’s that you feel like you’re drowning and no one sees it. The idea of being alone, even for 24 hours, feels like the only way to breathe.

If this is you, you are not alone.

Mommy burnout doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong—it means you’re doing too much for too long without enough support, rest, or acknowledgment.

And while you can’t always press pause on motherhood, you can start caring for yourself with the same urgency and compassion you give to everyone else.

You deserve that. Your nervous system needs it. And your kids don’t need a perfect mom—they need a human one.

You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re just worn all the way down.

Burnout Looks Like Snapping Over Spilled Milk… And Not Wanting a Hug

One of the lesser-talked about symptoms of burnout is sensory overload—especially around touch.

After a day full of sticky hands, constant clinging, and being the human jungle gym, something shifts. Your nervous system hits capacity. And suddenly, even gentle or loving touch can feel like too much.

“When your nervous system is overstimulated, it interprets even well-meaning touch as another demand,” says Kelsey Thompson, LMFT. “It’s a stress response, not a rejection.”

This is especially hard when your partner wants to connect physically or emotionally. You might crave closeness—but simultaneously feel repelled by it. And that contradiction only adds to the emotional toll.

When is mommy burnout common?

Mommy burnout can happen at any stage, but it’s most common during these key child age ranges and phases:

Infancy to Toddlerhood (0–3 years):
This phase is intense with sleepless nights, constant caregiving, and big developmental leaps. The physical and emotional demands are high, so many moms start feeling burnout here.
Preschool to Early Childhood (3–6 years):
Even though toddlers might sleep better, this age still requires lots of attention, managing behaviors, and juggling activities, which can keep stress levels high.
School Age (6–12 years):
Burnout can happen as moms manage school routines, extracurriculars, homework, social concerns, and balancing work and family life.
Adolescence (13+ years):
Parenting teens brings its own challenges—emotional ups and downs, increasing independence, and sometimes conflict or worry about risky behaviors. This phase can trigger burnout in a different way.

Pretty much anytime you’re actively parenting kids under 18, there’s potential for burnout—just the flavor and challenges shift depending on their age. Toddlers might exhaust you physically, while teens might drain you emotionally or mentally. It’s kind of the full spectrum of parenting stress from the moment they’re born until they’re (hopefully) flying the coop!

While these stages are common “hot spots” for burnout, every mom’s experience is unique. Some feel burnout more during certain phases depending on their support system, personal stressors, and coping skills.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Mommy Burnout

Here’s how to approach this conversation with clarity, kindness, and connection:

1. Start with what you’re feeling—not what they’re doing.

Use “I” statements to share your internal experience without making it about their behavior.

“I’ve been feeling so overstimulated lately—by the kids, the noise, the constant needs. By the end of the day, I feel like I have nothing left in my tank.”

This helps your partner understand it’s not rejection, it’s regulation.

2. Explain the nervous system piece.

A little psychoeducation goes a long way.

“It’s not that I don’t want affection—it’s that my nervous system is maxed out. When I’ve been ‘on’ all day, even a loving touch can feel like another demand.”

This frames your need for space as a stress response, not a relationship issue.

3. Reassure them it’s not personal.

Touched out ≠ disconnection. It means you care enough to communicate your needs honestly.

“I love you and I want to feel close—I just need a little space to come back to myself first.”

This helps reduce any hurt or confusion your partner might feel.

4. Offer ways to connect that work for you.

Being clear about what does feel supportive can prevent distance from growing.

“Right now, what I really need is 20 minutes alone, or even just sitting together without physical touch. That helps me reset, and then I can actually enjoy being close again.”

Connection doesn’t have to mean constant touch.

5. Have this conversation before you hit your breaking point.

It’s easier to talk about overstimulation when you’re calm—not mid-meltdown. Pick a time when you’re both in a good headspace.

“I’ve been wanting to talk about something that’s been coming up for me lately. Can we chat after the kids go to bed?”

6. Let them know how they can help reduce the burnout overall.

If your partner is supportive but unsure how to help, give them practical ways:

Take over bedtime a few nights a week
Handle mornings solo so you get a longer rest
Take the kids out of the house so you can breathe
Encourage you to take time just for you

You’re a team. And asking for what you need is not a burden—it’s how your relationship stays strong and your nervous system stays regulated.

Feeling Exhausted? How Mommy Burnout Affects Your Body Inside and Out

Being a mom is one of the most rewarding roles in life — but it’s also one of the most demanding. When the constant juggling of responsibilities, sleepless nights, and emotional demands pile up, many moms experience what’s known as mommy burnout. This isn’t just feeling tired — it’s a deep exhaustion that affects your mind, emotions, and yes, your body too.

If you’ve been feeling drained and worn down, you’re not alone. Mommy burnout can take a serious toll on your physical health, sometimes in ways you might not even realize.

How Mommy Burnout Impacts Your Body

When your body is under ongoing stress, it reacts in several ways — here are some common physical signs of mommy burnout:

Constant Fatigue
No matter how much you sleep, you may still feel tired and drained. Stress hormones like cortisol can interfere with restful sleep, leaving you feeling worn out all day.
Muscle Tension and Pain
Stress causes your muscles to stay tight and tense. You might notice frequent headaches, neck or back pain, or an overall sense of physical tightness.
Digestive Issues
Burnout and stress affect your digestive system, potentially causing stomach aches, nausea, or changes in appetite and bowel habits.
Weakened Immune System
Chronic stress wears down your immune defenses, making you more susceptible to colds, infections, and slower healing.
Changes in Weight or Appetite
Some moms lose their appetite when overwhelmed, while others might overeat for comfort. Both can lead to unhealthy weight changes.
Heart Palpitations or Increased Heart Rate
Your body’s “fight or flight” response can make your heart race, which might feel alarming but is a common stress response.

Why It Matters

Ignoring these physical signs doesn’t make the burnout go away — it can lead to more serious health problems if left unchecked. Recognizing how deeply mommy burnout affects your body is the first step to caring for yourself as well as your family.

What You Can Do

Prioritize Rest: Even short naps or quiet moments can help your body recover.
Move Your Body: Gentle exercise like walking or stretching can relieve muscle tension.
Practice Mindfulness: Breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga help calm your nervous system.
Ask for Support: Whether from a partner, family, friends, or a therapist, you don’t have to do it all alone.
Nourish Yourself: Balanced meals and hydration are essential to keep your body strong.

Mommy burnout can feel isolating, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. By paying attention to your body and prioritizing self-care, you can start to heal from the inside out—and feel more like yourself again.

How to Recover From Burnout and Regulate Again

Getting out of burnout requires intentional replenishment. You don’t need a week-long vacation (although, yes please)—you need small, consistent practices that signal safety and rest to your body and mind. Mommy burnout isn’t cured with bubble baths and spa days. When you’re in survival mode, what you actually need is sustainable support, real nervous system recovery, and structural change, not just a scented candle and some alone time.

Here’s some tips that can help:

Take small sensory breaks. Step outside. Close your eyes. Breathe in silence.
Do one thing that’s just for you. Read, dance, stretch, go for a walk—anything that makes you feel like a person again.
Set boundaries with love. Say no. Delegate. Protect your peace without apology.
Reconnect on your terms. Let your partner know how you do want to be supported or touched once you’ve had space.
Stop shaming yourself. Needing space doesn’t make you a bad mom or a cold partner—it means you’re human.

Here’s a breakdown of what real treatment for mommy burnout can look like:

1. Therapy that validates AND challenges you

You need a space where you can say “I love my kids but I’m drowning” without guilt or shame. Therapy helps you:

Identify the invisible load you’re carrying
- The invisible load refers to the mental, emotional, and logistical labor that often falls on moms—the constant planning, remembering, anticipating, and managing that keeps a household running and everyone cared for. It’s the work no one sees, but that takes up massive space in your brain and body.
Name the patterns (like people-pleasing, perfectionism, or martyrdom) that keep you stuck
Learn how to set boundaries and communicate your needs without blowing up
Heal the underlying beliefs (like “I have to do it all or I’m failing”) that feed burnout

Burnout isn’t just from what you’re doing—it’s often from what you believe you have to do.

A restructuring of your home life

This is crucial. If your day-to-day life is unsustainable, you need actual change, not just a nap.

That might look like:

Redistributing responsibilities (your partner is not “helping,” they are co-parenting)
Hiring help if it’s financially possible (cleaning, childcare, meal kits—every bit matters)
Dropping the ball on purpose—choosing what doesn’t get done so you can survive
Creating daily non-negotiable breaks, even short ones, where no one touches or needs you

This isn’t luxury—it’s survival.

Nervous system regulation

Burnout fries your nervous system. You’re likely swinging between hyperarousal (irritated, wired, anxious) and shutdown (numb, hopeless, fatigued).

Real treatment includes:

Somatic therapy, Brainspotting, or EMDR to help your body release tension and trauma
Breathwork or grounding practices to help you feel like you’re in your body again
Mindful movement—gentle stretching, walks, even five minutes alone with a hot coffee where no one talks to you

You don’t need to meditate on a mountaintop. You need your body to feel safe again.

Support that’s not judgmental or sugar-coated

This might be:

A therapist who understands maternal mental health
A support group where you can say “this is hard” and hear “me too”
Friends who don’t compete or minimize, but truly get it
Honest convos with your partner about what needs to change—emotionally and logistically

Motherhood is not meant to be done in isolation. The system is broken, and you’re not supposed to just cope better—you’re allowed to ask for more help.

5. Addressing depression, anxiety, or trauma

Sometimes burnout is the surface layer of something deeper. If you’re crying every day, unable to sleep or eat, panicking, or feeling detached from your life, that’s not “just mom stuff”—it might be postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, or trauma responses.

You deserve real treatment—not to be told to “hang in there.”

In short:

Burnout recovery isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing less, asking for more, and building a life where you get to exist, not just function.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yes—but how would I even begin to make these changes?”—that’s the sign it’s time to ask for support. You were never meant to carry this all alone.

From a therapist, and a mom:

Some nights, I still find myself hiding in the bathroom just to have a moment alone. I ask my husband to take over the bedtime routine because I’m so drained, I need to collapse into bed. I’ve snapped at him more times than I care to admit. I carry the weight of depression and the sharp edge of anxiety. I go to therapy. I’ve made changes to my lifestyle—exercise, supplements, medication—to help manage it all. And through it all, I’m raising two wild, beautiful, exhausting little boys. I get it.

And what’s helped me the most?

Naming what I’m feeling—and realizing I’m not the only one. Therapy has been a lifeline, along with support from friends and making intentional lifestyle changes. We’ve also adjusted things at home to lighten the load. It’s still hard—some days still feel overwhelming—but I manage so much better now than I did in the past.

Burnout is real.

Feeling touched out is real.
That wired-but-exhausted, “no one else better need anything from me” feeling at 7:30pm is real. Needing to get in bed by 8pm.

And no, a bubble bath won’t fix it.
But learning how to come back to yourself—one breath, one boundary, one honest moment at a time—is not only possible. It’s necessary.

You are not broken.
You are not failing.
You are carrying more than most people can see.

Let’s talk about what that means—and what healing can actually look like.

Will this get better?

You can absolutely get better from mommy burnout — it’s not just about waiting for time to pass or your kids to get older. While children’s ages and changing needs can impact how stressful parenting feels, there are concrete steps you can take to heal and restore your energy and well-being right now.

Burnout is largely about chronic stress and overwhelm, and when you learn how to manage that stress, set healthy boundaries, get support, and prioritize self-care, you can feel much better—even while your kids are still young.

So yes, time and kids growing up can help, but recovery doesn’t have to be a passive process. You can actively improve your mental, emotional, and physical health through intentional changes, therapy, support, and self-compassion.

How counseling can help with mom burnout?

At Light Within Counseling, we work with moms who are doing it all—and slowly falling apart in the process. We’re not here to tell you to “self-care harder.” We’re here to help you:

Name the invisible load you’re carrying
Untangle guilt from rest, boundaries, and asking for help
Heal the deeper wounds that make you feel like you have to hold it all together
Reconnect with yourself—not just your role as mom, partner, or caretaker

Ready to feel like you again?

Getting started with therapy at Light Within Counseling is simple—and we’ll walk with you every step of the way.

🔹 Step 1: Visit https://lightwithinlmft.org/
Explore our services and meet our compassionate, highly trained therapists.

🔹 Step 2: Book directly online through our website
You can choose a therapist who feels like the right fit and select an available appointment time that works for you—no back-and-forth emails required.

🔹 Step 3: Start your healing journey
Whether you’re navigating burnout, anxiety, parenting stress, or just need a space to breathe, we’re here for you.

We also offer afternoon availability and sliding scale options to help make therapy more accessible.

You don’t have to carry it all alone.
💛 Book your appointment today.

Accessing Care for Mommy Burnout at Light Within Counseling

We understand how exhausting and overwhelming motherhood can be, especially when you’re feeling burned out. At Light Within Counseling, we’re committed to making compassionate, effective mental health care accessible to moms in Roseville and the surrounding communities.

Our Service Area

If you are looking for a Roseville therapist or therapist near me, look no further. Located in Roseville, CA, Light Within Counseling serves moms experiencing burnout and stress from:

Roseville
Lincoln
Rocklin
Auburn
Granite Bay
Loomis
Orangevale
West Roseville
Sacramento

Telehealth Services for Moms

For busy moms throughout California, we offer secure, confidential telehealth sessions designed to fit into your demanding schedule. This flexible option provides:

Convenient access to support from the comfort of your home or any private space
Elimination of travel time, so you can prioritize self-care without extra stress
The same compassionate, personalized care as in-person therapy
Flexible scheduling to accommodate naps, school pickups, or partner help

Telehealth has been shown to be just as effective as in-person care for managing burnout, anxiety, and stress—making it a perfect option for moms needing support but facing time or transportation barriers.

Call or Book with us today!